#biggirlappreciationday

I'm sort of mad right now and I need to vent. Last night I stayed up late as usual and I saw that one of my favorite bloggers (nahihiya na 'kong i-mention siya kasi grabe na 'ko hahaha) tweeted the The Plump Pinay girls how he loves them and mentioned that it was Big Girl Appreciation Day. I find it an absolute turn on for guys like him to be like that. Not a lot of guys appreciate us big girls and it's getting kind of sickening, really. What's more sickening is that so many people are losing weight not for healthy purposes but because they're feeling insecure or sometimes I just think some people are only doing it or saying they want to lose weight because everybody else is doing it.

IT'S ANNOYING, IT'S IRRITATING, IT'S SICKENING

and hell,

IT'S INSULTING.

Which brings me to my rant. I'm over two-hundred pounds. Yes, I'm posting this right now on my blog and unfortunately for you, I'm fighting the urge not to care about the things you might say or think of me. Heck, I'm so tired of being made fun of and letting people bring me down. I'm so sick of hearing all of you people who are 150 pounds or even lower that they want to lose weight because they feel fat. So please, tell me: If you're fat, ano ako? Ano kaming mga 200+ pounds? So many girls who are 120 pounds tell me that they feel like they're pigs, if you're pigs, then please dear God, tell me what I am! I'm getting so sick and tired of feeling like I should live in a hole because I'm fat. NEWS FLASH, I DON'T DESERVE THAT. I deserve to be respected and you know what, I don't care if I'm fat. I care about being healthy but I don't care about being thin. Right now, I don't even want to be thin if I'm only going to end up saying that I'm fat. And by the way, I LOVE being a plus sized girl. It shows of what I got and shows what some thin girls don't have.

So many girls have stopped eating, or are eating but doing so many things that are harmful to their body: pills, over working, throwing up... You think that's sexy? Let me tell you right now, IT'S NOT. It's disgusting and let me just say, NOT WORTH YOUR PRECIOUS TIME. God granted us short lives, why waste it on drinking pills that "will help you lose weight" or go to bathrooms to throw up the most delicious steak you've ever eaten? LIVE YOUR LIFE! EAT WHAT YOU WANT. Eat the juiciest burger you've ever eaten, eat the brownie that makes you smile on your first bite, eat the frosting your mom left after she made that awesome cake she baked for your birthday. Enjoy! Stop telling me you're fat. Stop saying that you look ugly because you're fat. You're beautiful and you know it. 'wag ka ng fishing for comments.

Got this from Tumblr.

For the past few months, I've been trying to throw my insecurities in the trash and I'm doing it little by little. How? I'm trying to more clothes that are more... Well, I don't know what's the word for them but I'm wearing sleeveless tops, I'm wearing shorts outside my house, I enjoy wearing dresses and skirts. It feels awesome! I haven't done them in a long time, maybe ever since I was a kid.

Photo from my Aunt, taken last March 2011.

Photo by mom, taken last January 2011

Photo taken last Sunday (May 15, '11)

by my co-intern, Sadako

Yes, I wore my sleeveless dress with black and white horizontal stripes in Philippine Fashion Week, Holiday 2011 where more than half of the people were thin, where I was surrounded by the thinnest people on earth - models and where I had to deal with over a hundred people for their seats and you know what? IT FELT NOTHING BUT AMAZINGLY AWESOME. I felt great, 'cause I felt confident for being fat. I didn't care that even the thin ones were at least wearing cardigans or scarves to hide their arms, heck, it's summer. It's hot and it's fashion week, the least I can do was wear my favorite dress for my last day of being an intern. Hello, if you don't know who the girl in the photo is, that's Claire from America's Next Top Model, Cycle 1o. She was awesome. I even went to a party in the Fever Lounge, Sofitel in my pretty dress:

Say hello to my beautiful, big arms!

Photo grabbed from co-intern, Martin Chua

If you're worried that guys can't accept you for who you are because you're fat, MOVE ON. Guys like that are not worth our times. Guys who are worth our times are the ones who accept us and ask us if they can court us because they like the way we think, they love the way we smile, they love the way we make them feel and definitely not because you have big boobs, or you have a big ass.

With that, let me announce this new thing I'm going to be starting for my blog which was inspired by the beautiful Denise San Jose, I'm going to be posting more photos of myself on my blog in my outfits for some days. It's going to be like Lookbook and maybe I'll start posting looks on my Lookbook soon. Let me start right now (sort of). My outfit sucks right now, sorry. HAHA! Kaya nga sort of, eh.

Shirt: Given by my best guy friend

Shorts: Really old volleyball varsity shorts

Be who you are and accept what you have. Being confident is sexier than anything in this world. And if you're 110 pounds and you feel like you have to loose 1234567890 pounds (over, sorry) to feel confident, then hell, forget about it. You're beautiful as you are, I promise you. Whether you're 500 pounds or 107 pounds, it doesn't matter. You're always beautiful, and you're perfect just the way you are (insert bruno mars moment here). I pray to God that you realize this because I'm so thankful right now that I've finally let this out of my head and into my blog.

I'm fat, I'm curvy and I weigh over 200+ pounds and I am awesome and beautiful.

I want to thank The Plump Pinay girls, Stacy and Danah Gutierrez. I e-mailed them my plump story last week and I've been reading their blog for awhile now. They e-mailed back right away and I felt great reading their reply. They're two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and I can't wait to meet them personally and I wish I could interview and take photos of them in the near future. I love you, Stacy and Danah. Thank you! :)